“ A man can’t be brave if he don’t have fears” - a quote from recording artist and lyricist Jamel Bousbaa.
Within this introductory episode, of a series I’d like to call Overcoming Fear, I will be briefly breaking down the implications of Bousbaa’s statement. Analysing fear and how we can overcome it.
Bousbaa’s statement echoes a dialogue encrypted within the beginning chapter of fantasy drama novel ‘A Game of Thrones’ by George R.R Martin. Many of you may recognise that same name from the highly acclaimed television-adopted ‘The Game of Thrones’ directed by Mark Mylod, who also worked on Shameless (fun-fact).
Within this dialogue, the character of Bran apprehensively inquires into the notion of bravery. Cloaked in a two-fold tapestry of humility and naivety - he stands in the presence of his father. (Those two sentences alone could be a mini blog-sermon but - I’ll resist the urge - or rather save that for another day).
The character of Bran throws the question to his father with sweaty palms..
“Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid ?”
His father Ned, answers. Pivoting the question as if it were a rugby ball. It lands firmly in the arms of his son.
”That is the only time a man can be brave” his father told him.”
Let’s break down this statement, the character of Ned is contending something. That one cannot truly ascertain whether they have the heart of brave soldier, or a coward, without having something to fight. If they have nothing to be reasonably scared of, no sea to drown in - or swim in, they have no test. The character of Ned answers a deep question that sits within all of us - how can I be bold if there are some things I cannot be bold about ?
Hearing the question from what I argue is a clearer perspective, strips it down from the garments of rhetorical enigma it was once wore, and reveals a candidly naked, yet beautiful answer, to a very simple question. Ned argues, correctly so - that when you feel like fearing the most and you don’t, you actually become the bravest version of yourself you can be.
Humans should not fear, and depending on who you ask fear is not a gift in any way, shape, or form - that’s generally understood. However fear in a way, really can be the gift that keeps on giving.
Fear shines a light on a stage, pushes us on last minute, and screams PERFORM.
(I have noticed some patterns to fear, abundantly clear patterns at that. Fear tends to latch onto opportunities in a bid to prevent you from reaching your full potential. The most popular flavour of fear is “the fear of failure”, it really packs a punch. The fear of failure attacks any opportunity, whether it be a new job, a relationship or the ability to express views to an audience. It is important to remember that we have an innate need to be fulfilled - an inner pressing to “just feel something”. Such fulfilment is often found in the belly of opportunity).
But - back to the stage…
On this stage, we have a chance to let our creativity flow, to let our light shine, to showcase our true talents, and yet - our natural reaction is to fear. Our natural reaction is to run off because what if someone in the audience laughs, or if we forget the choreography halfway through the dance, or sing the wrong lyrics ? We must remember the reality of life in those times. Nobody is expected to be, or (logically) can be perfect. No one human on earth right now is capable of perfection - so take that pressure off your shoulders and allow some grace.
Now that we have discredited the expectation of perfection, we can truly acknowledge that the highest nobility isn’t performing perfectly, but rather just trying. To truly progress, we must change our perception, I believe the blessing is in the trying, and not just the outcome. We must realise that amidst the hellish fear of every new opportunity there’s a chance to actually do well. Only however - if we should try.
I want to encourage every Thinker to remember that the next time you are on that stage, whether it be an interview, or social event, or important conversation - that it is your time to shine !
You have been placed on that stage, now it’s up to you to just try ! Just try to show up for yourself. Being afraid at first or even for a while doesn’t make you lesser than or weak, rather it sets up the perfect hurdle for you to overcome. Or as Bousbaa repeats
“I said a man can’t be brave if he don’t have fears”.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this short introduction - to understanding how we can overcome fear.
Pleasssseeeeeeee, Think More - mika